Veronika met Alexander when she was 17. Their bond was strengthened by a local patriotic community in Kharkiv where they communicated in Ukrainian, discussed books, and listened to music. A few years later, they began dating and eventually moved in together.
“We didn’t plan for a child, but when we found out about the pregnancy, we decided not to get married just because of that. It felt unfair. Later, we simply did not revisit the topic of marriage,” Veronika recalls.
In November 2023, Alexander was mobilized. According to her, he underwent two weeks of basic military training, but did not receive a military specialty and had no further training.
“Alexander always wanted to help Ukraine, but he was essentially ‘Busi-fied’ when he was taking our younger son to school. I was not in the city at that time; it was a huge stress,” says his civil partner.
She adds that the brigades were reluctant to accept him due to health issues: Alexander had almost no healthy teeth and wore dentures. He was taken in by the 7th Border Guard Unit, which supposedly promised him treatment that ultimately was never provided.
“He only completed two weeks of basic military training. He didn’t receive a specialty, and was put on standby. Then, without warning, he was transferred to the 3rd Border Guard Unit, where he remained on standby as well. They promised training, but sent him to the front, where, as I understand, he lasted for 2.5 days,” Veronika recounts.
Before his first deployment to the front line on February 18, Veronika and Alexander had a call that would be their last.
“During that conversation, we discussed how to extract him (from the unit — ed.) and transfer him. He said he was being sent to the front and that the military would take away their phones for two weeks,” notes the woman.
Soldier Alexander Anpilov went missing on February 22 during fighting in the village of Ivanivske in the Bakhmut district, along with two other servicemen. All three were injured and waiting for evacuation, according to an official investigation, a copy of which was provided to us by Veronika. Contact with the men was lost during the assault and shelling by Russian forces.
The soldier could have been buried under debris from buildings due to the shelling. The position was under fire control of the occupiers, making it impossible to search for the Ukrainian soldiers. Alexander and his comrades were declared missing.
According to the official investigation, Alexander was appointed as a driver for the mortar group on February 16. However, Veronika insists that this specialty was not indicated in his military ID, and Anpilov had never held a driver's license before. In fact, he had never driven at all.
The news of Alexander's disappearance first reached his parents, who then informed Veronika. According to her, the military leadership did not reach out to her.
“It was a shock, of course. At first, I told my sons that their dad couldn’t get in touch for now. Then I explained that their dad was defending our country, and now we don’t know where he is or what has happened to him,” shares the civil partner.
Together with his parents, she did what is typically done after news of a soldier's disappearance. She filed a report with the police and searched among the prisoners, but to no avail. In September, the woman went to court to officially declare him deceased. This would allow her to apply for benefits as a single mother, as well as a one-time payment due to the soldier's death.
“Recognition as deceased is only the basis for a one-time payment (15 million UAH — ed.). These payments were not the purpose of the court; rather, I wanted to psychologically have this matter resolved. I had no plans to immediately apply for this assistance payment,” says Veronika.
Veronika and her lawyer claim that representatives of the 3rd Border Guard Unit and the Western Regional Office of the State Border Guard Service allegedly stated during the court hearing that there was a forgery of the children's birth certificates. Moreover, they allegedly denied that Alexander had sons.
In response to a request from hromadske, the State Border Guard Service stated that Veronika's husband underwent military training from late December 2023 until the end of January 2024. In February, he was assigned to a position in the Luhansk Border Guard Unit.
The border service reported that Alexander's salary (100 thousand UAH per month) has been received by Veronika since March as the legal representative of the children. The woman confirmed this, noting that combat payments began arriving only in July after the lawyer's inquiries.
The State Border Guard Service also emphasized that when Veronika applied for the declaration of Alexander as deceased, she did not involve his parents, who do not agree to recognize their son as dead.
“During the court session, the State Border Guard Service filed a motion to involve the parents in the case and provide documents confirming the right to file such a statement in court, as Veronika and Alexander were not married,” the response to our request stated.
The border guards stressed that “in no way do they deny the serviceman's paternity with respect to his children.”
Veronika's lawyer provided us with a recording of the court session. There, the representative of the State Border Guard Service, Anna Filippova, indeed opposed the approval of the application to declare Alexander deceased. Among the arguments was the official investigation's lack of evidence that the man was dead.
“Moreover, the case materials do not contain clear evidence that the children, whose birth certificates are attached to the application, are the serviceman's children. That is, this needs to be established through a request to the civil registry. Whether a request was submitted to recognize the serviceman as the father,” Filippova said.
It is worth noting that the lawyer only attached birth certificates to the case, but did not include complete extracts from the civil registry regarding the children's births. The judge also asked the lawyer at the end of the session to provide such documents.
These extracts provide detailed information about the registration of the children: under which article of the Family Code it falls, who submitted the application and when. For example, if the parents are not married (as Alexander and Veronika), registration is usually done under Article 126. This confirms that both parents officially recognized themselves as such.
“The State Border Guard Service respects all defenders. The State Border Guard Service is responsible for ensuring the rights and social guarantees of every serviceman and their families,” the border guards stated in response to hromadske.
Currently, Veronika and her lawyer have decided to withdraw the application, says Alexander Anpilov, the father of the missing soldier. The military's parents specifically asked the woman to do this.
“She did not inform us about her court application. If we hadn’t been told about it from the military unit, we would not have even known. This is our only son. The hope that he is alive is almost ghostly. But we have not buried him. If there’s any chance he may be found, we will not agree that he is dead. For us, he is still alive,” the father adds.
Veronika states that she has a normal relationship with her civil partner's parents. When asked why they were not involved in the case, the woman replied: “For me, this was a technical application. I didn’t consult them. It doesn’t hinder my hope, and I can’t imagine how I could let go of hope without having a body. But the parents don’t see it as a technical matter and asked me to do this,” she said.
Alexander's father responds: “We helped Veronika with the paperwork so she could receive payments for the children. I don’t quite understand why she did this. If it were some kind of enemy trying to bring us down, perhaps… But I don’t see her as an enemy, though it’s hard for me to accept such a position.”
Now Veronika, along with her lawyer, is preparing a statement regarding possible negligence on the part of the Third Border Guard Unit. Specifically, this concerns the verification of the duration of training, the assignment of a driving position, and sending a serviceman to the front who had been placed on standby, the woman says.