"Honor our sons with dignity." The mother of Grenka, the youngest fighter from Azovstal, speaks about the duty of remembrance.

Her hair stands up in a short, touching spike on her head. In June, Marianna shaved her head completely, cutting off her long luxurious hair that her son, Nazar Grintsevich (Grenka), loved so much. She buried him in May 2024.

Grenka, as he was called back in school, served in the Azov regiment. He was a paramedic and the youngest among the "Azov" fighters during the defense of Mariupol in the spring of 2022. He spent four months in Russian captivity. After his release, he and his comrades founded the "Contact 12" unit, where he became the commander of an optical observation platoon. He was killed on May 6, 2024.

By the following month, Marianna shaved her head in protest against the Vinnytsia authorities, who, in her opinion, do not honor the fallen heroes properly. It was during this time that she recorded a video message.

And this did stir local authorities into action. The section of the Sabariv Cemetery in Vinnytsia, where Grintsevich and other fallen defenders are buried, received some attention, with the weeds being cut and the area spruced up a bit. Trash bins that had been placed right next to the soldiers' graves under flags, attracting homeless people and dogs, were moved away from the graves. They even started building a restroom, and water tanks and video surveillance cameras appeared.

Hromadske visited Grenka's mother in Vinnytsia to discuss how the fallen are honored, the hypocrisy, and the sincerity of our memory. We met at the cemetery. On that day, a cold wind rustled the flags above the graves. Some had already turned into tattered rags.

Next is the direct speech of Marianna Grintsevich.

Unwelcome People at the Alley of Heroes

Our city authorities feel no shame for these flags. And do you know why? They don't see them. They don't see the neglected graves. On October 1, on Defenders Day, the city authorities laid flowers not where the fallen are buried, but at their photographs on Soborna Street—at tiny pictures, as if there was no space in Vinnytsia to put up large photos like in other cities. I did not disgrace my son by allowing his photo to be placed on Soborna.

The authorities are unaware of the state of the burials in this cemetery. I wash my son's grave every day, along with six other graves. Because no one takes care of them—these fallen soldiers were orphans. Some have parents who are old, sick, unable to tend to the graves, or are in occupied territories. Does the government know about these burials? Has anyone from the authorities ever washed these graves with me? Or, perhaps, the authorities organized someone to take care of them—change the flags, ensure they don't sink, take care of the flowers?

Under the city mayor, we have a Council of Families of Fallen Defenders. I am not part of it: my child went through such a journey that I should walk into government offices and ask them for something? Let the authorities come to me here, at the cemetery—in the wind, the cold. I am here every day.

Since 2014, our children have been dying in the war. And the authorities still cannot decide how to bury and honor them.

Do you see the plaques reading "additional space" between the graves? These are reserved spots for parents or wives of the fallen. But if this area is designated for military burials, if we call it the Alley of Heroes—what do the relatives have to do with it? Why do relatives need to be under these flags? Did they fight?

They say that the Alley of Heroes will be arranged in another part of the cemetery, and there they will not allow burying their relatives. So there will be an Alley of Heroes in another area—what about here? Not Heroes?

Why should I, the mother of a Hero, have to set up this cemetery at my own expense, at the cost of my health, to ensure my son's grave looks worthy? Everything in the burial of Heroes should be done properly.

From the very beginning, it has not been right: representatives of the TCC do not take a psychologist with them when they go to a family. It should be the psychologist who delivers this terrible news so that the poor parents do not go mad from it. Funerals should be accompanied by police and an ambulance—does this happen all the time? Families of the fallen need help with funeral services—a uniform package should be offered to everyone so that parents, wives in grief do not worry about it.

Badges Instead of Memorial Plaques

In Kyiv, at Kontraktova Square, there is a mural of my son—people take photos next to it. Kyiv remembers Nazar. But his native Vinnytsia does not. Nazar once said in an interview that if anything happened to him, he would like a mural in his memory on the wall of his school.

Nazar studied at school No. 32 in Vinnytsia. I studied there, two of my younger children study there, my mother works there. It is a school for our family. But the problem is that its facade has apparently not been repaired since Soviet times. It is crumbling. How can a mural be painted on it? I can find sponsors for the facade repair. But why should we, mothers in grief, have to do this as well? Why not wake up the authorities and do something for the young generation—not for Nazar anymore, but for the children who go to school.

The city authorities installed what they call a memorial stele in honor of the fallen Heroes who graduated from the school in the school yard. They installed it on October 1 of this year, on Defenders Day. Similar structures were also placed in the yards of several other schools in the city where there are fallen graduates. I consider this stele a complete devaluation of the heroes. It is made of poor-quality stone, the plaques are tiny, and the text is unreadable—you rightly pointed out that they resemble badges rather than memorial plaques. There are no photos, no information about the Heroes' combat paths. Is this how we honor them?

As far as I know, there was a competition, and the project with these "badges" won. But why was the opinion of the families of the Heroes not considered? Personally, I found out about it only when I was already invited to the opening. The stele is already full of micro-cracks. The families of the fallen saw this as a devaluation of their loved ones. We called an architect, who promised to fix the shortcomings. But the main flaw is this stele. It looks quite shabby.

I will demand that the facade of the school be repaired next year, and I will fulfill my son's wish—I will create a mural there at my own expense.

Nazar Street

After Nazar's funeral, his friends created a petition to name a street in Vinnytsia after my son. This petition gathered the required number of votes in just a few hours. And—nothing. There is still no street named after Nazar Grintsevich in his hometown. But this is not just about Grenka. Look: there are plenty of flags at the cemetery—so many guys have died! Murals, memorial plaques, streets—these are what we need to remember them. Let Vinnytsia and other cities know their heroes.

If we need to rename 500 streets in the municipality—we will rename them. Since 2014, several streets in Vinnytsia have been renamed—and it has been very difficult. Local authorities need to make a corresponding decision so that such renaming occurs automatically without petitions, without nerves. A square, a street, half a street named after a Hero. A memorial plaque hung at the school he attended, at the enterprise where he worked—this is for memory, for educating children, this is respect. These are elementary things. You noticed: now at 9 AM, people have started to stop a little in memory of the fallen. But this is already the third year of full-scale war!

All the fallen must be honored equally. We cannot bring them back, but we can immortalize their memory. So that adults, who are not involved in the war now, know thanks to whom they went to work today, had coffee, earned money, or strolled around. So that every little child knows that they came into this world not just because of their parents' love, but because the fallen defended the country for them—so that Russia would not dictate to us how to live.

I Can't Get Drunk or High When I'm in Pain

The Council of Families of the Fallen was only created in Vinnytsia this summer, and the war has been going on for so long already! And they do not help ease the pain there. Our authorities, our psychologists have not found a way to reach the hearts of parents and wives. They do not understand that our