The Grabar brothers went to war together right after the full-scale invasion began. The younger brother, Nazar, who is three years younger, told his older brother Ilya: “I won’t let you go alone because you wouldn’t let me either.”
Two handsome men. Two talents. Ilya is a designer, sound producer, while Nazar is a model, dancer, and blogger with 400 thousand followers on TikTok.
They learned how to fight and became squad commanders in a unit of the separate 101st brigade of the General Staff.
At the end of December 2022, near Bakhmut, a fragment of a grenade struck the younger brother in the chest. He remained silent and endured it. He knew that Ilya was 100 meters away in another trench: if he found out, he would rush to him. The commander, unaware of Nazar's injury, ordered him to carry a comrade, whose legs had failed, and take him to the hospital.
The young man exited the trench, and Ilya came toward him from the other side. They bumped shoulders. Ilya's last words were: “I love you, brother.” Then they parted ways to fulfill their respective tasks.
On the way to the hospital, Nazar broke down in tears. He sensed impending grief.
Two days later, Ilya's commander called him: “Sorry, Nazar, we couldn't save him.”
Ilya was fatally wounded while applying a tourniquet to his comrade.
“They're getting hit hard: by tanks, mortars, everything. We've been trying to get Ilya out of his position for several hours. Six soldiers have already been injured because of this,” the commander explained over the phone.
2When Ilya Grabar was taken from the battlefield, he still had a pulse. The soldier died in the arms of his commander.
Nazar happened to be in the hospital. After he delivered his wounded comrade there, he stayed to have a fragment removed. After the call, he burst out of the ward, screaming: “This can't be true! I don't believe it!” The whole night, he cried while kneeling.
When he regained his composure after the most terrifying night of his life, he managed to write on social media:
“This is my brother! This is my hero! My inspiration and my greatest support! He gave his life for what he loved. For his family, his country, our future. I will remember you like this. Unbreakable and strong. Even in the darkest moments, you always gave me strength and faith.”
3When Ilya decided to enlist at the beginning of the invasion, his wife Maria didn't try to dissuade him—she knew it would be in vain. They were both in love and good friends. He confided in her first about losing a comrade and his fear of a tank shell.
She remembers her husband as a very good, bright, cheerful, and loud person: he always laughed heartily. He was creative: played guitar and piano, wrote music and lyrics, but above all, he loved producing young artists. He achieved early successes and awards, and everyone predicted a bright future for him.
He was well-liked in the army, treating both the ordinary soldier and the colonel equally. He never ran from anyone. He was welcoming and non-conflictual. He quickly learned to operate drones and completed cartography courses. During the war, he stopped pursuing his favorite music, even selling all his instruments: “When I return from the war, I will start anew; I will have everything new.”
He had planned his life: to protect Ukraine and his family (six months after the invasion, he married Maria), followed by a trip to the Carpathians, buying cool sneakers—he was a fan of them—and getting his wife a convertible.
The last thing he said to his wife was: “I love you.” On the day of his death.
33-year-old Ilya Grabar, with the call sign Panama—he adored Panama hats and wore them for a year—was buried in the Alley of Heroes in Bucha, the city where the family had lived in recent years after moving from Nikopol.
“He was the kind of person who formed a certain circle of communication around him, people who remember him in one way or another. There are many who met him after his death and have become friends in a way. When a person dies, nothing can change that, but we can extend his life through our memory of him,” Maria noted in an interview.
She is referring to the charitable foundation named after her husband, which she, his mother Lyudmila Golub, and brother Nazar established.
4The mother remembers that her son's last words were: “I love you, mom.” The day before his death.
Lyudmila posts on the Facebook page of the charitable foundation. There, she shares much about good deeds: filling small village libraries with Ukrainian books, providing sports equipment to schools, and furnishing shelters.
At her son's funeral, seeing the turnout of young people, she said: “I don’t want Ilya to be forgotten. As long as he is remembered, he will live on.”
Two months later, the family registered a foundation that addresses the needs of Ukrainian children. It is not a dead organization that spends the money the family received after the warrior's death. This is a living system: there is financial support from Ilya's friends, who donate 100, 800, or 3000 hryvnias monthly. Various events are held, such as a concert on the defender's birthday, where young artists raised 160 thousand hryvnias and donated it to the memorial fund.
“Recently, we held a celebration for the children, buying them big boxes of M&M's candies. And I hear a mother telling her son: 'This is from the defender; he is in heaven now.' And the child replies: 'But how did this defender send us candy? By helicopter?'” the hero's mother recounts through tears.
The foundation's largest project is the construction of a basketball court in Borodyanka last year.
“My son grew up without a father and often said he wanted to find a boarding school to learn music. And he adored basketball. When he came home on rotation, he gathered with the guys, played, and said: 'I will still play in the veterans' league.' He regretted that there were so few basketball courts in our area. That’s why we took on this task,” says Lyudmila Golub.
Before the Russian invasion, there was a playground near the lyceum, but it was old and abandoned. A fallen fragment in the middle of it finally destroyed it in the spring of 2022.
“We offered the Borodyanka students participation in our UAactive program. That is, the teenagers didn’t just fill out questionnaires and receive money from us (the program stipulates that the winners, among several schools, will receive funding—5 thousand dollars). They had to study for 15 weeks to master project management, where they would develop their own idea, learn to present it, and know how to attract funding for it. They agreed. Two teams decided to prepare separate projects—a basketball court and a universal sports ground. Perhaps one of them will succeed,” says Yevgeny Morozov. He is responsible for the educational program for teenagers from small communities in the savED charitable foundation.
The lyceum's director, Elena Kovalenko, when she heard that the students would receive only 5 thousand dollars, approached them:
“Well, if you win, then what? That money won’t be enough for anything. Let’s better use that money to build steps to the school.”
She recalls that time like this: “I approached them with my outdated views and sense of reality. And these cosmic kids looked at me: there will be a playground, and that’s it. Half an hour later, they convinced me, and seeing the result, I started looking at the world more broadly, and now I also want more in life!”
5“The kids learned so well to communicate their ideas and honed their skills so much that in less than 5 minutes, they could talk about their projects in an accessible language as if they had been promoting them their whole lives,” Yevgeny